Disengage

You know that moment when you know- as you are making the decision- this one will affect the REST. OF. OUR. LIVES. We’re in one of those. I’ve been chasing the dream for a year now. Trying to provide for the family I so love. Trying to get us ahead of the game. However- all I’ve succeeded at is more turmoil and unrest. So now it’s time to take stock and disengage. I’m here to pledge to the world- but more importantly- my family- mommy is done trying to define herself outside the home.
To my four littles- God has given me one job in this life- to raise you up in his image. I’ve not been great at that- in fact the last year I have STUNK at it. I am going to be better at my God given position in life.
To my sweet hubs- I have stepped on your toes on so many occasions this past year. I have not listened to your concerns, I have put my agenda above yours. I have not trusted you and have not respected your place as the spiritual leader of our home. I am sorry. I will honor and obey you- submit to your authority. Most of all I will be more approachable and seek your council more appropriately.
To my God- I will listen closer to what you are saying to me. I will seek you out in your Word, and in Prayer. I will cleave to the position in life you have given me- and seek joy and fulfillment in purely that place in the home and in the world.
Lastly to the others in my life. I have been stingy this year. I haven’t been available to you all. I haven’t been able to serve as I’m used to doing. I have been busy, flaky, moody, just a general bore. That changes today.
My prayer today is that my heart will be ready to accept where God wants to put me. I’m torn down to the quick and this is where I will stay- silent and peaceful til God shows me where he needs me.
Love to you all!
Ash

Advertisements

What a Cool Kid!

It’s spring again, which means, again, we are exploring schooling options for the upcoming year. I was really impressed when McDaddy shared this link with me, because it meant he’s feeling as much anguish as I am about the subject, AND he is really interested in being an active part of the decision making process. Anyway, I officially love this kid! In the 24 hours since I first watched his TEDx talk, I have viewed it three times more, once with Rain.
So without further ado… The TEDx talk with Logan LaPlante:

hack schooling makes me happy

This is the Way We Clean the House….

By raise of hands how many of us would like to know why our children seem to have been replaced with psychotic alien beings?
We are in some MAJOR discipline boot camp around our house. Today’s video brought to you as a direct result of said boot camp….

Thank God for moments like these. Those little rays of humorous sunshine that ensure these little shits get to live one more day!

Kids at Play

My mom irons.  ALOT.  She bought a Sgt. Steam a few years ago….for the iron attachment.  Whilst I thought I had a good explanation for her obsession (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), I only learned the real reason recently.  It lulls my dad to sleep.  My mom travels a lot and so when she’s home, she iron’s to “relax”.  It’s comforting for my dad to have her ironing because in his mind it means my mom’s at home, not on some airplane.  It triggers his brain to sleep.  Its the comforting drone of the steam and the methodical movement of the iron as it slides across the fabric- that create a white noise for my dad.  For just that moment in time, all is right in the world and he can check out and take a nap.

I’m a mother of four young, rowdy, active children….I don’t get to indulge in such frivolous pleasures.  I don’t iron.. in fact last time the boys were with my mom and she said she was going to iron, Hurricane asked her what “iron” was.  The truth is, to me its a medieval form of slavery still miraculously alive.  But it got me thinking…what is my “white noise”?

McDaddy travels….alot. (see a pattern here?)  The other day while he was home, I was in the kitchen preparing dinner when I realized just how content I was.  There I was in the middle of the kitchen, elbow deep in dishes, dinner on the stove, cookies in the oven… kids screaming in the background.  I was in complete and utter bliss.  That’s when I started to tune in to the noise.  Mixed with the delighted squeals of the FON’s (Forces of Nature) was the hearty chuckle of their daddy.  Doing what daddy’s do.  Wrestling on the floor with the kids.  All four of them were jumping on his back and screaming as he wrestled them to the floor and tickled them until they said “daddy you’re so cool”.  These moments are few and far between.  Raising four kids means lots of busy time.  Between the extracurriculars, school, etc, there isn’t much “veg” time.  Throw in the limited amount of time McD is here; with a honey do list a mile long, and these occasions are very VERY rare.

It was today…….

That I realized….

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Just how my dad feels.

In a life full of hustle and bustle, sometimes your “oasis” presents itself in a truly unique form.  My job is just to recognize it and find the joy in it.

Until next brag…..

Update on Diversity Means

Late last year, I posted about Rain’s Reflections Contest, here’s the update….

They had an Council Awards Night earlier this week.  Keep in mind, she progressed from school level to this next level.  This Awards night was much more formal.  They had state PTA representatives and children from several area schools, blah blah blah etcetera etcetera etcetera.  Once the gravity of the event settled on me, I got nervous.  I quickly began studying the boxes on the far end of the stage, trying to find Rain’s entry in the decrepit losers forgotten and left for better days.  My heart soared as my snoopy eyes did not reveal my darling daughters prized entry.

I took pics enough to embarrass my pre-teen then took my seat as they dimmed the lights and began the presentation.  There I sat with my best benign smile pasted upon my face, camera set and ready in one hand and phone set to record poised in the other hand….anxiously awaiting for Rain’s name to appear there in lights.  It never did.

As the lights came up my heart sank, my eyes filled with tears.  Sometimes when your kids fail, the failure is harder on you.

I gathered Rain in the best, most supportive Mom hug I could muster and kissed her head as tears again took my eyes hostage.  And whispered (cuz I could speak no louder than that) I’m proud of you just because you tried.  Rain was disappointed that night but so was I.

My life lesson I learned was this; even when the odds are stacked against them, it’s important to let your kids try out their wings.  Otherwise they’ll never know how high they can fly.

Until next brag….

McMommy

Cookies For Dinner

I have developed a serious GRUSH (girl crush) on the author of Peas and Thank You.  It started out when I picked up the book on a whim.  Now, not only do I reference the cook book on a daily basis, I follow her blog, and now, I’m ashamed to admit; her Pinterest.     It’s kinda crazy really, but oh well, not trying to be a stalker Sarah, just really admire you.  I’ll keep it professional, I promise!

So, McDaddy is out of town and I wanted quick, easy, kid friendly food, so I made Falafel.  I’ll admit, when McDaddy travels, we tend to slide  into a diet rich in  “chicken” (tofu)nuggets, butter noodles, and mac and un-cheese.  (Told you I’m in that book alot).  What I noticed happening is that my Forces of Nature where imposing a natural disaster at the dinner table when McDaddy came home.  No longer where they the happy-go-lucky, eat-anything kids they had been….no, I created four little monsters that would give the short order cook at the greasy spoon a nervous breakdown.   I had to put on my big mama panties and have been trying to feed them more variety whether McD is at the table or not.  Tonight I made Falafel.  The funny thing about falafel is when you prepare it, you’re supposed to roll it in golf ball sized balls and cook.  If it’s round, it’s gonna end up on my floor.  So I got the idea to smash the balls down flat.  The boys thought they were cookies,hence “cookies for dinner” was born.  We feast with our eyes first, right?  my addendum to that is…”then with our ears”.  “Blood stuffed intestine bloat” could be strawberry cheese cake for all I know but I’ll take your word on it because ain’t no way something with THAT  name is going anywhere near my mouth….or nose for that matter.  If it has a fun name, you’ll choose it over a plain name, just because it sounds exciting.  Case in point, tonight.  Dinner cookies were a HIT.  I have served this meal before, and neither one of my budding food critics ate very much.  Proof positive that a rose by any other name is not always a rose.  I served them up as dippers because those kids will dip anything.  I added celery, cucumber sauce, half a pita bread and sweet potato puffs.  These, by the way, are quite possibly my new favorite food!  I think I’ll start using them like little doughnuts since the boys’ dietary restrictions do NOT allow us trips to Krispy Kreme.  Anyway, off subject.  Lesson learned today was: using fun names to get your kids to eat is not child abuse it is parent trickery in the most effective  form.

Allow me to show you…..

Hurricane in the background doing his best T-Rex impression

 

What you don't know is Hurricane just said "FartSnockers" which has Tornado in a FIT of giggles

 

until next brag….

McMommy